It is time to get down to talking about the things I have learned during my seventy-six years of book learning and experiences, as promised. The topic I have picked to begin with is PARENTING.

I am sure that you want to know what experiences I have had that would allow me the audacity to discuss this subject. So, let’s go there first. In addition to a Ph.D. in psychology, I also earned a Master’s degree in counseling and human relations. Both of these endeavors required a great deal of practical experience working with all age groups. Even before these educational experiences, I was trained to suture small lacerations, put casts on fractures and apply other first aid procedures, as an Air Force medic. Many of my patients were young children. I noticed right away that I was able to calm youngsters down quickly by “getting into their model of the world.” I would talk to them about cartoons, that were popular at the time, while suturing their cuts or giving them their shots. I never had to restrain one of my young patients while the other medics had to use a sheet wrapped around the kids to tie them down so they could be treated.

As a Physician Assistant and, later, a Psychologist, I had many opportunities to work with children on a deeper level. I got to talk to them about their fears and their experiences. When I saw a child in my practice as a Psychologist, I never saw him or her without their parents present. I learned very quickly that whatever problem the child was having, the parents were the cause. I dealt with the parents surreptitiously while talking to the youngster. I never saw a parent that knew how to “do it right.”

Before talking about how to do It right, I would like to begin with pointing out how we as a nation, do it wrong. To demonstrate just how bad the parenting is in this country, I will quote some statistics I gathered from the internet. I didn’t bother to list the reference sources. If you don’t believe my numbers are accurate, you can look them up yourself on the web.

Suicide in the United States. On average, adjusted for age, the annual U.S. suicide rate increased 24% between 1999 and 2014, from 10.5 to 13.0 suicides per 100,000 people, the highest rate recorded in 28 years. Due to the stigma surrounding suicide, it is suspected that it generally is underreported.

Suicide is the 2^nd leading cause of death in children ages 5 to 24

The homicide rate has been estimated to be over 30 per 100,000 people in 1700, dropping to under 20 by 1800, and to under 10 by 1900. After World War II, crime rates increased in the United States, peaking from the 1970s to the early 1990s.

Violent crime nearly quadrupled between 1960 and its peak in 1991.

• Aggravated assault: 248.5 per 100,000 people
• Robbery: 102.8 per 100,000 people
• Homicide: 5.3 per 100,000 people
• Total violent crime: 386.3 per 100,000 people

291 school shootings since 2013, which breaks down to about one per week. The massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkdale, Florida was the 180th mass shooting since 2009 and the third in 2018

I’ll be honest, I got tired of reading all these numbers that dealt with violence against self and others and didn’t even bother to look up the statistics on drug abuse, alcoholism, depression or anxiety in this country. I believe that most of the U.S. population has experienced at least one of these conditions during their lifetime. You notice that I lumped drug abuse and alcoholism in the same category as depression and anxiety. I do not believe that either of the first two conditions are “diseases.”

They are self-treatments for either or both of the other conditions. That’s why drug users who are depressed usually prefer “uppers” as their drug of choice, while those who suffer from hyperactivity or anxiety prefer “downers” as their drug of choice. That’s not to say that this pattern is always true, but in my experience it is usually true.

Well, this part of my discussion on parenting has taken much longer than I thought. I hope I have piqued your interest enough for you to tune in to my next post which will deal with how our poor parenting techniques lead to the human tragedies described above.